It’s About Time

I recently had one of those side-fence-in-the-front-yard experiences with the neighbor next door, where we talked about life as though we were two housewives from the 1950s. Except the things we talked about were far from what families back then would have openly discussed.

One of the topics we covered was mental health. I had shared with her how one of my sons was experiencing a mental condition so intense for him that he needed to be hospitalized. I was sharing that he would need to go into a residential program soon, and that I am dealing with the consequences of his absence but also with my own mental health issues, which make it challenging for me to accept the reality of what is happening in my own life. Today was unique, in that I had admitted to two people I knew that I had serious mental health issues that need to be addressed.

I did not want to discuss all the elements of my mental health condition, nor did I bring them up in the conversation, but it is sufficient for me to say now that I have experienced quite a bit in my nearly fifty years of life. The remarkable thing about today, and that I have been noticing in the past several days, is that it is becoming easier for me to admit and openly talk about how I have struggled mightily with various mental conditions, most notably depression and CPTSD.

In the past, I would have been afraid to bring this up at all, because I had this idea in my mind that to have a mental health condition made me look bad as a person, and that it was a sign of weakness and imperfection. I never would have wanted to admit such a vice, as it would color others’ perceptions of me, either causing them to judge me or pity me. And I wanted none of either.

A few days ago, it became ultra-clear to me that I would never be able to work the way I used to again, due to a number of factors, most of them related to my mental health. Though I am learning and growing, my emotional stability and socialization skills are just not where I would have expected them to be by now. I have a lot of trauma to work through (still) and need to find what enables me to thrive in the world as a whole, rather than allowing it to drag me down.

I have noticed lately there is a trend towards more open discussion of mental health. I believe people are finally realizing how important this is to our overall well-being, and that neglecting it for any reason at all has devastating consequences in the long run. I am relieved to hear this, and that people are no longer being ostracized or judged for admitting they struggle with their own mental health.

I say, bring on the support groups, and let’s work towards even more acceptance and acknowledgment. Poor mental health makes it abundantly clear that we are imperfect beings in need of encouragement, compassion and social support. And for those of us willing, may we also pray that all of our mental health conditions would see an improvement, and perhaps one day, be brought to an end.